illalwaysbethereforyouifyouneedme`
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
I just need a new start to try once again... lets jiayou~


it rained at
2:28 AM
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year!

For this new year~ i went Suqi's hse to celebrate with the pugi ppl~~ i tot i will feel weird... but it turn out to be really fun n i seemed to learn some impt lesson thru the gathering~:) Thanks Benwei for listening to me.... Thanks the girls for listening to me.... thanks Suqi n her bf n family for doing so much for the preparation~~:)

It is my first time going through a new year while i am attached.. really wish he could count down with me.... despite all the unhappiness.... i want to put an happy ending to 2006~ so i was rather stubborn...bought one of his favourite cake~took a cab down from sengkang jus to spend the last min of 2006 wih him n den went back to suqi house to ton with dem~ SUAY me left a dress which i jus bought in the cab.... i checked the cab le.... but i think i may be soo suay that the plastic bag got stuck at the other corner of the seat... that i didnt see it....... the dress was rather ex.... n i really like it.... so i guess i will buy another 1 before the offer ends tml... XIN TONG!!!!!!!!!! AwwwWw... but i really like tt dress......:( so i will jus spend my money on it agn.......... hais.... wat a bad day before i end 2006........:( Till now.... no one report to my lost n found rpt yet:(

Anw~ things are getting better today~1st Jan 2007~ its good for a NEW year~ am glad we got a NEW start~ i be strong n believe happiness will come to me:)

New year is comin~ its time to jiayou n live life with no regrets again! :)

Hey meiting n dawn~~ meet up soon? for a short dinner la~~ before sch reopens... den we will be busy agn~~~

Hey pugi~ Meet up soon too?

Hey GMP~!!! i noe we r meeting soon!!hahah~~ happy:)

I am glad for this NEW year.... i learnt some impt lessons:)


it rained at
11:54 PM
Friday, November 24, 2006
Disappointments after disappointments..... i m drained....................

I didnt even managed to read the questions worth 24 marks alt~ when i tell my friends they were shocked~~ though i feel that subject is tough... but all the way my quizes n my projects....i have been doin well................. but i really dunno wat happen to me in the exam hall.............................

Jus finished astro........n yet again .......... another BIG disappointment........18 sets of notes to read............so i jus choose topic to study................. i feeel i am REALLY suay this sem.........cuz the topic i chose always never come out....whether its for astro or my literature.............. Out of the 50 essays....i could only get amost 17....yup..... i really was sooo blankout n nth to write........... i went to calculate my marks............. that i might get.............. i panic further.......but still nothing comes to my brain...... i did studied alot for astro........n the previous quiz i had i felt i could do it.....probably is after my precious paper tt i lost 24 marks....n def more den 24... that i felt myself drained...........

maybe i shouldnt study too much before the exam period....... i used to slack until 1 month b4 the exam period.... but this sem i really m hardworkin ......but jus before exam starts....i lost my momentum....i starts to fall aslp easily........ i start to get tired of studyin...................... n here i am FLUNG all my papers..............................

I rally dunno wat got into me...................................................... i really got a big blankout.............n aits always after the exam.....the ans could den come to my head naturally................

I m guaranteed a fail for astro........unless i could find more suay ppl like me....................

but please dun fail me for my major!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the one i lost 24 marks marks n more....becuz i was in a totally blankout in the exam hall.... i could still ans my frenz questions b4 the paper started........................ PLEASE DUN FAIL ME!!! i need the honours degreee...............

one more paper left..................bt i m too drained to study.................................................................

i can only crossed my finger n hope i dun get tooooo badly for my subs.....thou i feel y m i studyin so hard b4 the exam period den??? but well....................

i think i m too distracted this sem........... i get hurt by ppl impt to me.............n i got hurt by my frenz................

i really m drained........................................................................................

please...........................................dun fail me.............................. jus let me have my honours..............

:(


it rained at
12:17 PM
Friday, November 10, 2006
my dar is sick..................................:(

GET WELL SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My jap oral buang even though i studied the whole day ytd!!!!!!!!!! :( Was so panic that when i couldnt hear clearly i jus "har?" den continue sayin "repeat pls" in jap~~~ n i kept stutterin!!

:(

but at least...i m prepared for the written le ba.......... hopefully:)

No mood no mood to study!!!!!!!!!!!! how!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JIAYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!


it rained at
1:07 PM
Saturday, November 04, 2006
STOOPID ASTRO............

I am down with headache due to jus 2 chapters of astro......................

i could barely memorise anything n register into my head..................

think i have really aged....................

luckily its jus a S/U subject....bt still......i GOTTA pass!!!!

hais................................

I have wasted both my friday n saturday away........... saturday is spend readin astro bt i cldnt get things in.................i feel i jus waste my whole day readin some alien notes.................

I am dead............................i m totally not prepared for exam.................................save me................................

headache...........
stomachache................

:(

(i love my dar lots.... dar is so understandin!! despite all the fear i have initially....i feel better n much more assured by his replies~~~ please jus let our love be eternal.......:) )

SHEN AH~ JIU JIU WO BAH!!


it rained at
11:59 PM
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
THE WORST PROJECT GROUP ONE CAN HAVE

(or rather i have~~ still must give credits to efforts made by dem~ cuz i myself din put in alot of effort too~~)

- Not my clique: Yup~ felt like a minority cuz the grp consists of 3 girls in a clique n me~ bt too bad i hafta be in tt tutorial cuz my jap lesson doesnt allow me to work with nicer ppl i know of~although they looks friendly...n there is no signs of nasty look....i have this feelin that i am gonna suffer in this group rite from the start...n indeed...its true~~~

- Arrow: Yup...so when they r all in one grp n u r sort of the minority....u get 'arrow'~ nt thru draw lots or watever....bt jus arrowin u.... n its really unfair~ cuz nobody wld wan to waste their time on this stoopid module which unfortunately there is a need to pass thou nortx...gotta retake.... as for me...... i sort of confident i can pass....cuz the other assignment was v gd but wasnt done badly as well~~ bt too bad...this is a grp thing .... n u jus gotta carry out ur task....even thou it's appointed to u thru unfair manners~ ....hais.... guess what the group did?? she only do the introduction!!!!!!!!!!!! ONLY the introduction n she refused to do the conclusion n compilation of slides~!! hais.......... ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Self glorify: okie.....not actually self glorify but makin wat u do sounds rite....n credible....like u really have contribute a lot~~ i was asked or rather arrowed to compile the slides....n she said its a easy task because the slides have been uniformed i jus need to compile....but when it look at itl.......... the slides look...............ermmm....sorry to say....HORRENDOUS~ And because i forgot they claimed they wan in on sunday~ she said they have already uniformed the slides....infact....it should be an easy task .....n should take much time to finish....so its only FAIR den i send dem back asap~but in the first place....things ARENT FAIR at aLL!

- BAD SENSE of AESTHETIC APPRECIATION: n wat causes the horrifyin slides to be called uniform....i guess its due to this bad sense of aesthetic appreciation~ the person has her text in text form....n the second person has it in word arts....n different shapes....different size...FAR too colourful words....n the 3 rd person has it all in text form n there is no differences in text for titles n content~~the person has all the pics in cartoon form...the 2nd person has it in 'non fiction' form~ n the 3rd person has no pictures placed for her portion...

ALL IN ALL...........the slides look horrendous~!!

- BAD dress sense: This is out of the project topic but i guess it contributes to the bad sense of aesthetic appreciation~~ onne of my grp member wore a bright pink short sleeve shirt tt is us a few cm below her braline~~ n this is still not a shockin sight~ wat shocked me is...she could actually find a black pants tt she wore rite jus after her pink shirt!!! A pant that is WAY above your belly button~!

-_____-""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

not that my dress sense is good.... mine is not good either........... but its definitely not as horrible!!!!! i really looked with disbelief~ like how could anyone find such combination!!

HAIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THIS SOOPID PROJECT REALLY WASTE MY TIME N SPOIL MY MOOD!!!!
:(

ok....enough of my complainin....i m too tired to continue!! hahah~~

off to nap................................ ZZzzzZZzZZzzz


it rained at
4:24 PM
Monday, October 30, 2006
hais....still gettin v distracted....and alot of things r left undone............ sigh..................

i m not concentrating enough..... guess i really have difficulties managing my time..........first time handlin exam as well as a relationship~~

the tutorial today made me really stressed............. i see mistakes mistakes all the way.......

sigh........................................................

its really time to focus hard......................

jiayou!!!!!!!!

To friends:

i am sorry that i couldnt make anymore time to acc u all from tis wk onwards le........... cuz this two weeks there are 2 quiz....1 project to hand in....n nxt week i got another two quiz!!! n i have studied none of dem......... i am dead............................n i regret that i din made well of my weekends AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahh.........focus focus wj~~~~~~~~!! hais........i gt bad feelings for this sem.......................

i understand tt some of u need to work as well!!! bt for study......there is this crucial n not so crucial period ~!! so there is a need to really priortise durin this crucial moment~~`n after lessons be jus doin tutorials....n if i got time n focus enuf....i need to do revision as well..~~study is a full time thing i would say........at least it is at this crucial moment~` when i haven studied for quiz....nt to say exam....when i m still strugglin with tutorials.....~so hope u all understands~~`

To luan shuang:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! u have been realli a nice n sensitive frenZ!!! Hope u n ur bf last forever!!:)

To myself:

F-O-C-U-S

To dar:

i still love ya~~~~~:)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i wan a simple life............a simple me...........a simple you............a simple love............

*grant me my wish*


it rained at
1:44 PM
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Went teppan yaki with dar! i didnt know y but i was so excited.....like i really m so gian about eating.......but no....... i jus hope for a lil something for our 5th month~~thanks anw for the dinner:) i see it as an effort to rush dere b4 the shop close aft his late lessons.....thanks~~:)

exams coming!!! ahh........so nxt month i might have to do it a small scale ones......but its the thoughts tt counts!! its realy the thoughts tt counts..........the thought to make ur loved one happy every day n esp on tt day...........cuz tt was the date u all decided to give each other the most precious thing you have with u.... (your heart)......and promise to take good care of it for ever........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sometimes i wonder....did i give in too much...or rather did i give in too easily.....am i not worth the effort...the time....

but i cant stop myself from giving..........................................

i didnt wanna ask for anything anymore....cuz i feel like a stoopid childish child doing so.......... i gotta learn to take things more lightly.....if only u wouldnt tt impt..........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
exams coming!!! i hope i can learn to concentrate more..............!! jiayou!!!


it rained at
9:07 PM
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls."

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy,because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment. One day I said to her in a slight joking way, "Suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you," I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want to divorce." I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?". "I'm serious." I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!". At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer. A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember". "You carried me in your arms", she continued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning." I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there." On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now." She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute.

I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old." I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. "You got no fever." She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you." Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."


Our love might not be a fairy tale........But may our love be eternal........


it rained at
7:58 PM
Sunday, October 01, 2006
*~BBQ~*

yup~~ been a long time since i went for bbq esp after pugi bbq's plan failed to materialise~~ It was friday already....and i wasnt done with my assignment yet!! But i decided to give myself a good break since i've been having writer's block~ So dar n i went to have fun n relax! We went bowling at katong mall.... walked to parkway for arcade....n on the way back to katong mall to retrive his car....we went to a nice pet shop~~ the puppies r left walking around in the shop n they r all soooo adorable n obedient~!!:)

We then went to fetch his frenz n fren'z gf for a bbq at his buddy's house~ n it was all the way at a ulu padang place~~ situated by ulu padang road~ -_-" Yup! So i actually went to dar's ocs bbq gathering this friday~~~! Was abit worried n nervous before i made the decision to go along with dar~ i thought since his buddies r bringing their gfs....i didnt want dar to be alone there! then again, i am afraid i will be v neglected....feel sianz n might have mood swing n all...or i might just say the wrong things infront of his frenz~~ But i didnt want dar to be alone there.....n i admit i do feel nice that dar thought of askin if i wanna go along with him~~ got a sense of recognition n acknowlegement~~probably i wasnt being confident of myself....n dar actually wanted to bring me out n show to his friends....made me feel myself being recognised n appreciated~~

Though dar dar was with his buddies most of the time....n i was left spending time with his best buddy's gf~~ i felt ok n not too uncomfortable~~ Dar bothered to bring food back now n den`~thou he seemed not as sweet as he used to be.... probably he is shy?? hur hur hur.... i dont think so~~:P that thick skinned fellow~~ :P But well...things get better later n some of his buddies sit down together with us n him to talk~~ They are really like a bunch of little boys that hasnt grown up...all so mischevious....lively n fun~ We went his fren's house later to cut a cheese cake with the word "ORD LO!!!" on it~`-_-"" haha~~ so yup~~ to celebrate most of those who have ord (sadly...dar hasnt actually...)....n also to celebrate their friendship~~:) N they took pictures of the couples....the singles....the signed on regular(which only got 1 whom kept being laughed at for his decision...) n the diff grps they used to belong to in army~ haha~~ really is Pattern duo duo~~ though i was left with another girl whom i dont really know durin the bbq~~ but i was happy to see dar n his fellow buddies havin fun.... i was happy that dar tried to not let me feel to left out for the whole gathering.... n i am happy that i could be so understanding that dar needs to spend time with his frenz~~ he is guy afterall.... n its a gathering with his buddies!! n his buddies r all quite friendly....that does make me feel less uncomfortable~~ though i thought i might be a burden for dar during the gatherin...but i didnt regret going with dar.... or blame dar for anything~~ i felt he has already try to do his part.... n it was actually nice enough to have dar by my side~~ :)

*~ OH OH ~*

been slacking the whole recess off......... it was mainly because i simply didnt know what to write for my written assignment....i thought the max is 2000 words....n i only managed to write 1500......later on.....my frenz told me its actually 2000-3000 words!! Ahhh.........i really got writer block....n i simply didnt know what else i could add...or should i just choose another topic.......ahh....really got no idea........n since today was already saturday~~i told myself die die i must finished it...n yeah!! i finished it~~ !for the sake of finishing it.... :/ hais......... n i haven done any revision yet.................................................................................

really gotta jiayou when school reopens le............or maybe i should jus study now!! :o

ohoh:0 jiayou ba~~!:)


it rained at
2:19 AM
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
*~Pugi dinner!!~*

Went dinner with pugi on Sat night!! Met at lavender n we set off to siglap tgt~! Wait....why lavender??? this u gotta ask our mr tp~~-_-""""""" I m sure there is nearer plac la!! haha~~ but i am sure he got enuff questionings by the others le too~~ Waited for our mr benwei for quite sometimes....end up he wasnt there to join us for dinner~~~ ~_~

WAlked around....n every place is like packed!! n hard to squeeze in 12 of us! we actually planned or mr tp actually suggested we eat zi cha~ but the 'legendary nice zi cha' cannot be found~ whenu ask him where is his so called zi cha~ he said he jus noe there is a nice zi cha at siglap~ ttz so helpful!! -_-"" so there we were at siglap...tryin hard to source for food~ but on the way...it was fun to chat with the pugi girls~!! n thx sooyun for listening me out again!!! :)

finally~~ we decided to eat at Werner's Oven~ a German restaurant~ The food was rather expensive~~ but how about the qualitY?? well...the so called signature dish,crispy pork knuckles which tp ordered taste like "kong ba" (kou rou)~ n the vege on jon's dish taste like "mei cai"~ think they could combine n form another dish~"mei cai kou rou"~~ -_-""" The meat loaf that meihui ate taste like luncheon meat~~ n the beef steak that eileen n yaohan ate taste like kou rou to me too!! oopsS~ sorry eileen...noe it suppose to sound high class...like medium rare sirloin steak~~ but it really taste like kou rou to me~~ how about me?? i ate grilled boneless chicken~~ sounds nice ya?? end up its like hot plate chicken....n its no better den my hall canteens!! -_-"" So the food really aint fantastic....but kindda glad to meet up with dem....put all my troubles behind.......... n like give my mind a break~~ jon even gave all the pugi girls cutie fish magnet~ thanks!! oh n n n n n n .................eileen has got a BF!!!! n think i am the last to know!! :( cuz i missed some gatherings with dem...............n i actually missed this news! :P hehe~~ she is quite good in keepin secret man~~ they r actually tgt for 3 months alr~~~ jus one month after me!!! haha~~ good for her really~~ this is her 2nd r/s ba~ her first one was sweet...but too bad...there r nt meant to be............ so hope this be a better n lasting r/s for her~~ i am really glad to hear such news cuz there r a few couple breakin up or quarrelin happenin around me~~ sooyun said a few of her frens are also quarrellin with their partner...or plannin for break up..............heard suqi says she thinks my cla teacher broke up with my econ male teacher too.......it always make me lose confidence upon hearin these news..... so somehow i actually feel v excited to know that eileen is actually attached!! :)

*~conflicts~*

Been havin conflicts n small quarrels with dar these few days....n even when i am alone.....i couldnt do anithing at all becuz my mind is too distracted.........n the words he said the last time still rings in my ears................ i am really hurt.................n i get defensive......cynical....n paranoid.....of things tt might happen to me........ have a good cry n good talk ytd~~ probably thats y i feel mcuh freed n better now~~~ m happier now~~~ n wee~~! tonite we gonna have our usuall tues waffles at gelare agn!! :) oh....n we went changi beach on sunday! its rEALLY V FUN!! so from fri till now....guess sunday is my happiest day! :) its so fun guessin the air line.... n we share the table with a couple n their kid in hawker centre~ the kid is really cute~ n bound to be a shuai ge next time~ haha~~ oops:P he is really cute.... looks shy in the begining but ended up....mischievous~ but still quite adorable i think~~:) hope today we would enjoy ourselves too!! i hope we gave each other happiness~~ n not anger or hurt each other again~ not~anymore~~

*~OOoooPSs~~ OH OH!~*

got a 30% assignment to be handed up after recess~~ but i havent even chose a topic to write on!! how bad can that be!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhh~~ been really too distracted n playin too much the last few days~ and i m afraid i wont have time to revise after i finished with my project....hais....rather mind block....been a long time since i wrote anything on literature~~ actually its only a few months....but i kindda have difficulty writin...n even choosin a good topic to write on...........hais............................. i mus really be focus n at least finish up my project.... JIAYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hope dar n i would jiayou tgt!!! study hard n play hard tgt!! ahh!!! we really should get down to do our stuffs le~~~

jiayou!!!!!!!

hope we stay happy always~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^_^


it rained at
12:09 PM
Saturday, September 23, 2006
逃避就好了吗

better after a nap.........maybe i should jus avoid thinkin....ignore it....and take it as nothing happened......better he should aso avoid........n make me think that everything is ok.........

den will we be ok this way?? all the way??

if so...................i dun mind acting ignorant......................i guess~~~

Jiayou bA!!!!! i still got assignment to complete!!!


my whole world is abt u,family,frenz n studies now..............if i lose one........i must put in more effort not to lose the others........

today is a bad day.............................. hope tml b better!!! n i will put everything behind me n jiayou agn!!

i shall be ignorant.......n hopefully.....my worries be unnecessary den!!:) its the fear of havin my heart torn into pieces again..........that stop me from being ignorant........... but if ignorance helps........ i will work hard to be! yup~! n hopefully.........things will end well for me!! look on to the bright side!!^_^

ling gan to write lyrics again! haha~~ but just a lyrics la....... wrote in 5 mins time!dun bother to give comment...... jus a 5 mins lousy work~~~ bt kindda like it~~~:)

我为自己擦上麻醉药。。。
忘记伤口还没好。。。
我忘了我曾受伤过。。。
在你爱里碰撞。。。
无可救药的死掉。。。
眼睛还在微笑。。。

我要擦上麻醉药。。。
也许伤口会不知不觉康复让我不再煎熬。。。
也许我会永远带上微笑一直到老。。。
最算死掉。。。至少微笑也不会让你烦恼。。。


it rained at
1:16 PM
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
REALISEd i really need to BUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JIAYOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4.5~~~~~!!!!


it rained at
12:29 PM
I am rather an egoistic and stubborn girl.... esp in thing i am passionate about.... like in performances.... in writing chinese essays..... i always got my own set of thinking and am v firm about it....... and gets v stubborn about it........................ teachers think its good in a way as it portray my own 'style' of writing or performing............... but its bad too.....because sometimes this stubborness gets overboard....i lost some valuables advices along the way...............

its hard to strike a balance.......firm and stubborn is jus a thin line difference.......i really need to learn........

It's because he is my dar........... i find it hard to swallow the fact when he doesnt recognized my ability.......... or point out my mistakes.................. I find it hard to accept the fact when he always got this superior attitude over me........n makes me feel like he kindda belittle me............. and because of my egoism n stubborness.....i tend to retaliate in an agressive manner..........and den feel regret because i didnt wanna anger him or makes him feel unhappy too......

i am proud to have a dar who done well academically and is a well liked leader......but at the same time....i feel demoralised n inferior esp dar points out my mistakes n criticise on it.......till i get sad n feel regret why i gave him a chance to criticise or mock at me again~!

Told him how i feel.....and i feel happy and regretted at the same time.....

i am happy that i could always tell him anything even if that thing portray a v immature or negative side of me....... ur partner should make u feel like u can be real infront of him.....and that is wat he makes me feel...... even if i try to hide....ultimately he be the one to see the real side of me.........

but i feel regretted........... because i dont know if he will see this ugly side of me.....and kindda affects his feelings for me....or how the r/s will end............. i am really scared.....and lost because i cant find a definite ans.... nothing is definite anw....

bt i must admit..... thou i sounds v defensive in the conversations....i do think upon how he says....n reflect on myself................ there r somethings which i feel i just say it out but it doesnt actually hold tt much to me........ but i do realise i should really learn to accept i am wrong........even on things i am passionate about.....even on things i am v zhi zhuo on.... i should learn to calm myself down n think thru' things b4 i gets stubborn n defend my way....i should not think tt i cant always let ppl feel superior over me........i guess i am jus being over cynical sometimes............ but sometimes dar's tone really make me feel demoralised................ i guess everythings take 2 hands to clap.......both have their faults.... but i feel i should penalise myself more n be more strict be myself....because i hope to be a better person.......

guess that is wat r/s should be about too~~ to learn from each other n make each other a better person........ i think he makes me a better person...... but i really doubt if i make him a better person too.................................. i hope i did............. i m still not confident......
i am sorry dar........for my tone and attitude....... but believe me i do make a pt to sit down n reflect on wat u say even if i sounds v defensive everytime............ its jus my egoistic n cynical nature tt makes me attack once i got attacked............. but i am glad i do ponder stuffs over after all my impulsive acts................... i do know i still need to improve.....to really try to calm myself down n think before i act...................i need time for it............ just give me a gentle reminder ya....a gentle one will do..........

hope this conflicts doesnt make us fall apart..........but understand each other true self better........ i am glad u shared ur views patiently to me......n i see the sensitive sides of u........ i hope this incident doesnt make u love me less............

i really really love ya dar....................................... i really do care about wat u say..........and what you think.........becuz i really really do care about u...................................


it rained at
1:32 AM
Monday, September 04, 2006
*~ Comex fair ~*

Ahh... it was a bad day.... crowded....noise....n i hardly got the chance to talk to dar...there's noise everywhere...n his sis talked loudly non stop jus right beside us...n the traffic jam is terrible!!! n ya....becuz dar was the driver.... i was left sitting behind with his sis n mum....getting tired...bt i cldnt slp becuz i was too sianz to slp....n too noisy to slp.......

Sat day is a grumpy day.... i just feel sianz the whole day but kept tellin myself to put on a smile when ppl talks to me.... also becuz i didnt wan to spoil dar's mood~ i know it wasnt his fault at all~~ i jus feel sianz that day......

i am not that kindda person that loves to squeeze around with crowd even if there is a big sale....haha...can say i am jus lazy.... but also becuz my mood is dampened before i got mystuffs.... of cuz i dun mind squeezin tgt with him....or acc him do anything.... but not when i hardly got a chance to talk to him....or haf his attention on me.... thou i know no matter what....he wont forget about me.............

well..i jus feel like an outsider that day.............. but instead of getting sianz with me becuz i am sianz....he tried ways to cheer me up n console me....thanks:) oh~ n he bought an mp4 for me at $109! quite a good deal ya? n wats impt is its a gift from him~ thanks!!!:)

it was a bad day...but not a very bad day afterall.....with him around:)

*~ Happy day ~*

Enough of the bad day on sat~~ i enjoyed myself on sunday! well~~~ i was really happy to have dinner with mum dad bro dasao n dar !! we din order much food but the food was not bad n the price is reasonable~ we den went to bro's house~ his house is really nice! n i get to choose chocolates to bring back hall to munch on because he simply have toooo much chocolates from his students on teachers' day~~ hee~~ n i happily chose the chocolates while dar jus looked at me...shakin his head~~ actually my mood is still dampened in the morning.... but a dinner with the family n with dar around really brightened my day!! i felt really xingfu~ dar fetched mum n dad home....n den we played with my neighbour's dogs~hee~~ it was really a simple gatherin...but i enjoyed myself alot~ it was enough to brighten my day and i decided not to go out n stroll with dar since it was alr late~~`

thou we din managed to go simei or parkway as planned.... i really enjoyed myself....thanks alot dar~~:) for acc me n my family~~:)

*~ Hmm... ~*

wanted to have more time to study rest and at the same time...acc dar~~ wanted to finish all my stuffs in the weekdays so i could have the weekends to relax n do wat i want~~~ no more zest to join so much stuffs..... n that would means i may not have enough points to stay in hall 3............ which i hope that wont happens as well...............hais..............wat to do??

Felt quite happy till now~~ and esp i feel i really understand my lesson today~! i always stone and couldnt understand anything for my monday lesson~~ today was rather a breakthrough!:) haha~~ and i actually asked some constructive qns as well~~ keke:P

dar said he wants to bring me to see all the 4 fireworks from diff countries next yr~~ :) haha~ n he found a pic for this yr fireworks from the internet~ cuz i said i loved watchin it.... actually.... he was the one that makes the fireworks looked beautiful to my eyes~ :)

stiil feel like im in honeymoon~~ hope it never ends~~~


it rained at
2:34 PM
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
It has been long since i update my blog..........

*~Meiting's bday!~*

Yup~ jus met up the tk girls last sun to celebrate our dear fren, meiting's birthday! the small celebration was held at V8 Bugis~ and before that, dar acc me walked around before the rest of the tk girls reached~ thanks! It was a small gathering with me, sooyun, mingqi, dawn, suqi, eileen and not forgetting our birthday girl Meiting! n her beloved bf~:) Ahhh~~ so many years...so much changes......everyone is better is their dressing....and some really nv da shi ba bian~! but some things have not changed.... we r still the same old crazy tk girls....that laughed and joked loudly... we never get sick of the same old tk topics....we jus cldnt stop reminiscing dem~ ahh~~ all the stoopid things we used to do..... but it was all such nice memories~~~:)

Am really glad to see Meiting and Harris r/s going so strong~ love is shown in their eyes...n the couple rings they had....is really nice~! its not abt the ring alone....bt you could jus see their eyes beaming with love when they looked at each other....n i could really feel dem totally immersed in blissfulness~~ ahh~~~ time flies n they have been tgt so rather long~~ feel really happy for dem~~:)

It was the same old jokes den we started singing birthday song....n cut the birthday cake~ No more biting of candles.... n shoving of birthday cake money under the table.... n the candles on the birthday is no longer a big 1....but 2 big big candles......

We have really aged...haha... but it's a nice feelings to have ur frens around to age with...sharing the same old jokes....laugh tgt...cry tgt...

Happy birthday meiting!!! Really glad to see you so xingfu and happy now~~ I wish u and harris happily ever after~~:) And thanks for being such a great fren all this while~ :)


*~3rd month anniversary~*

i am glad i went for the gathering.....:) after the gatherin...i met up with dar at his house before we set off back hall tgt~~ suddenly he brought a small heart shape cake out....and gif a peck on my lips...."happy 3rd month dar"~~ ahh~~~ i really din expect such surprises after the first 2 months~~ (haha~`...hint hint:P)....but well.... i m really surprised n stoned a while when i saw the cake~~ jus a small surprise but i am glad he is really tryin to give me surprises to make me happy n all~~ :) thanks dar~~`

no wonder he kept askin me to go off to my gathering....so he went down the escalator to bought the cake from four leaves... but he saw me while i tong tong make my way to cold storage to get the things i need for the surprise i gonna give him the nxt day~~ n i was soo stoopid to msg him to borrow fridge when i actually wanted to msg wanying.....so he roughly got an idea wat i gonna do.....

and ya~` Its cookin!! I purposely wake up early to go for the first tutorial group instead of the 2nd which i m in....so i got about 40 mins in hall to prepare the food b4 he came after his lessons at nus~` The kitchen is one floor below and i gotta run up n down to get down all the ingredients~`

Cooked Spaghetti~~`fry the sausages~~~ and one soup with egg~~ in forty mins...includin gettin all the ingredients down n up.....n the food up..... i am perspiring like hell`~~
He finally reached the hall and i could see he was really happy to see the dishes i prepared~` but the spaghetti was rather inedible cuz it wasnt really cooked....because i was really rushing to finish it......n it came out rather awful..... it was still hard n cold....but dar finished them...and said he would finished whatever i have cooked~~ thanks for the encouragement~!! instead of puking out the noodle.....or throwin them away~` :)

But~~ i must give myself credit too!!! the sausages is really nice when i jus finished cookin k!! No chao da~` and golden brown when i just finished with it~~ but he came too late to eat them while its hot~! The soup really gave me a sense of satisfaction~` hee~~ thou well...its quite easy to do it.....bt it was my first time cookin all this...n the soup is really nice to drink~` maybe it's just the brand tt is gd......but i estimate the right amount of water!! hahaha~` n i stir it well.....keke~~~ It is not an easy job to cook in this super hot afteroon....but it feels so nice when i see him so happy with the dishes i prepared~~ haha~~ he bought me egg tarts for my breakfast nxt day and bubble tea too~~ thanks~~

Oh ya~` and beside the dishes~ as usual there is a card for him~~ but not as nice as the first 2 months~~ becuz i felt as time goes.....it's really the thought tt matters~` as in i wont put aside my books and hw ...n spends days n long hours doin his card..... but the love is dere~the xingyi is still dere:) besides~~ i noe he would be v ahppy to see those dishes~:P but i mus really apologised for the awful pasta! Probably the worst pasta in singapore:P

We just spend the rest of the day in hall............ den he gotta leave back hall.....somehow there is something really missing.....and i felt rather empty and disappointed............................ feel better after i have a walk and a good talk with him to the bus stop..... think we have somehow wasted the hours we had tgt....... but there be more months n years coming..hopefully :)

*~ Understandings...~*

Been really busy these few days....find it hard to catch up with my work.....and i have been rather inefficient in my studies........... sigh...............

felt rather demoralised sometimes and meeting with dar do perks me up abit.....but he gonna get busy nxt week when tutorial classes start~` and his workload be busy~` but we can always do our hw tgt~~ and we could jus meet for short dinneror smth~~ its about making an effort :)

I dont know y.....although miraclly i didnt fall aslp during lessons.....but my notes are in a mess.....n everytime i wanted to study.....i need a long time to concentrate....think the study momentum aint totally back yet..... feel the workload this year is rather heavy........n i must really worked hard......finish my tut religiously.....so there be no more C on my result slip....

but am really stressed sometimes like i wanted to do my hw....or rest after long long hours of lessons.....i be asked to go down for hall events.....i dont like to compare with others.... sometimes i am really not energetic for other stuffs like this....jus wanna rest well....and study...... but ppl would think its cuz i need to tak to dar...... but we only talked after i dinished my work....and occasionally he will called to check if i am doin my work.....or did i fall aslp.....and asked me not to be too stress n all..... den he will put down the phone n let me continue with my work.... it is no wonder ppl will think y i can fork out time ot have late lunch with him.....but nt for hall events.....but i need to eat anyway....... and we only met for like 1 hour plus.........but i mus admit there are times when we sort of have conflicts on the phone....we wld jus hold on to the phone for hours......with silence here n dere....n i be affected....n not do my stuffs efficiently..... n thus sometimes i stressed myself when i gotta hand in hw tml n all....

everytime there is a hall event....or any form of gathering....i feel stressed....cuz if i dont go....i dont know if my fren be sad....or unhappy................ sometimes i really dont feel like gg....n i feel stressed about it...... it was ok...when i myself feel like going~~ but it was rather rare these few days cuz i really stone and couldnt absorb anything the teacher said......and i need more tim,e to settle down n do my stuffs..............................

i really need understandings......... i dont want to compare myself to any other couples....becuz every r/s consists of two diff parties with diff characters,thinkings and all......every r/s gotta be different and its no point comparin one to another like that.... hais.... i am jus stressed.... and i really need understandings....................

even dar makes me upset sometimes.... i felt i am afraid of him sometimes n i hate that feeeling.....i know he really care for me.....but i guess care n conquer is jus a thin line diff....i felt not understood sometimes........and i just hope that my frens will give me their understandings....and he will as well~~` loving some one is not just about having that someone.....
Nonetheless....no one is perfect.... and i would still love him regardlss wat.....i jus hope for more understandings....to make me less stressful........

And to make myself less stressful....i have decided there is only a few things i want now~~

* I need my studies be on the right track and no more Cs on my result slip~

* I really need my dar...

* I only need a few important friends in my life.... like gmp n tk peeps like meiting, sooyun, dawn, mingqi, suqi....etc...

* of cuz.....i need my family and i cant possible do without dem~

* i need good health

* i need understandings...........................


it rained at
10:53 AM
Saturday, August 12, 2006
National day eve was a nightmare.... becuz we kindda quarrelled.... we dont really raise our voice and argue... but we r both unhappy abt each other.... n i feel kindda restricted... feel totally controlled... n it wasnt a xingfu feel... we had misunderstandings... n he said things that hurts me....... i feel nt understood.... n i was feelin terrible inside... even when he pat my arms, ask me nt to cry... he will get used to everything... i feel worst inside........it was such a terrible feel that i cldnt slp...nt to mention study.... i just keep crying and crying.... it was such a lousy feel...:(

after all the cryings...n talkin out.... things get better the nxt day... in fact things was rather fine the next day...thou i was really really really disappointed tt we aint watchin the sunrise le.....

but i was really happy when he suggested we walked to the national stadium from his house to watch fireworks... it was quite a distance.... bt i dont feel tired at all...with him holdin my hand...the firework was so so...bt the acc is great!! he made the fireworks more beautiful to my eyes~~:) n we ate my fav homemade ice cream rite aft! i still prefer the orchard ones thou....but i was alr v satisfied~~ we den saw a big chao chao tt looked just like a lion~! a mini lion... n we jus followed it all the way... in fact...it attracted alot of attentions....n others jus followed it like we do...bt we managed to follow tt big chao chao all the way till we reached home~~:) Imagine wenjuan followin a big chao chao~~ that will be a rare scene cuz i used to siam whenever i see dogs...nt to mention its a BiG chaochao~~ bt it was such a happy experience to follow chao chao...eat ice cream...talk cock... n just hapily live in our own world~~~:) Dinner was great!! his mum cooked lotsa prawns for me... n tts my fav!! he peeled lots of prawns for me! hee... thank you!!

we found a gd place to watch the fireworks at esplanade! while ppl try to squeeze their way to find a place to sit n catch a glimpse of the marvellous fireworks....we found a secret location to watch it....with lotsa of space...v few ppl....n gd view~~it was adventurous to explore this new place with dar~~ it was a memorable experience...n our effort is definitely worth it.... when i saw the fireworks....which is much more magnificient den the one in ndp!! ndp fireworks is really nth.... n i must watched the fireworks by france nxt yr! we din manage to watch it this time... we watched the one by calodenia?? nt sure wats the country called... bt it was indeed a xingfu feel to watch fireworks with ur loved ones!! esp such nice fireworks! its like celebrating our love as well... to be as beautiful as the fireworks....bt hopefully aft all the sparks...it still last................................ too bad i oni brought my lousy hp ....while others brought video cam, camera stand n all!! dar said its alright, we will watched it agn nxt yr n video it down!ahhh~~~ feel so nice to hear tt.... dunno if it will materialise bt at least we hope for a nxt yr tgt....n for many more years to come too!!

Friday i was a bit feverish n my throat hurts....Saturday... i lost my voice Totally...n last yr i lost my voice for 2 mths in aug too!! m i gg to lose voice annually in aug?? CHOY!! touch wood... i better nt curse myself......... bt i was lucky tis time...cuz dar was dere to give me 24 hrs consultation~~ cooked medicine for me... keep makin honey drinks.... salt water.... apple juice for me... n it feels so nice...everytime my throat hurts..n my face shows it....he will give me a hug n asked m i feelin v xingku..........

indeed....i feel really xingku to lose my voice!!!i was really sufferin last yr for that 2 mths... n i even need help to order food in canteen!!!!!! ~_~

but i feel really really xingfu too...............to be loved n cared by u:)

n i know dar took the risk of bringin me out....becuz his parents will nag....thanks alot! really appreciate tt..... love consists of u n me... n i really wish a personal space for both of us too....nt always...bt at least sometimes:) n i noe u been tryin v hard to make me feel loved n xingfu:) i dun asked to always drive around n all.... walkin to stadium was fun!! n takin a bus home tgt was fun too!!! :) maybe we shd jus eat less when we go out~~ haha~~

thanks dar~~~~~ really.... millions thanks.....:)

Now........... PLEASE JUST LET ME HAVE MY VOICE BACK SOON!!!!!!!!!!




it rained at
10:47 PM
Monday, August 07, 2006
wy msged durin the SP nite to ask if i am ok...n get sw to fetch me to sp night...was really touched.... i guessed sometimes i just think too much.....

am feeling treasured when dar rushed down to take care of me...knowin i am sad....n i cld see that he really worried for me.... n he washed my clothes for me...while i rest... n kept cookin small little snacks for me....hopin my appetite be back... thanks dar~~:)

ls n bs msged me dere aft too... m always touched to noe tt gmp is still with me....in times when i need care n concern...:)

had a gd rest on wed n thurs.... appetite is low...bt on fri...my appetite is back agn!! n on sat i gets v well...till now....i keep stuffin myself with food...or shd i say dar keeps stuffin me with food....
-_-""

*~Concert~*

Ahh~~` finally its here... n i m nt excited abt it..... becuz i was rather half hearted.... but when the show is abt to start....i actually bother to practise the lyrics a few times....n when the show stars.... i realised i was panicking!!!!! OH MY!! it has been a long long long time since i sing n dance alone on stage! haha.... ahh.... saw my uncle n aunty.... n ppl takin foto...i sang a few lines wrongly......was looking for gmp n ziyun bt i think i was alr nervous seein my aunty n uncle sitting at the front row....

i felt nothin strong abt tis concert still...thou one of my partner alr has tears welled in her eyes.... it was until aft the concert....when one of our artiste xiao ye hugs everyone n hi fi to me b4 gg to UK.... den i get a bit bu she....thou i dunnoe him well.... but ah... ppl jus come n go in our life...... n i get a bit....not sad....i dunno how to explain.... just some weird feelings stirrin within me regardin this fact.....

n rite aft...when i saw gmp comin in waitin to take fotos with me.......... i am really touched....n lost for words.... i bet i must be talkin in a weird way den..... it feels so nice to see dem.....to know they r still with me.... gmp is still tgt!! n i am really THANKFUL N SUPER DUPER touCHED with my roomie's prezzie n card~~:) N it touches me to receive sooyun's msg n my aunty's msg... to encourage n praised me abt the performances put up... i guess these are the things tt kip the artistes' spirit alive:) thou mine i half died out.... i must say they did lit it on abit:)

I am v guilty for nt letting dar go n support me... bt i didnt let my family go as well.... somehow dere is this big barrier within me....tt i tink i will just be lost on stage when i see dem....

anw...i am relieved tt the concert is over!!!

*~a new start~*

School starts today!! n its a new start for gmp to be livin in single room for this comin sem....as school reopens... we be facin each other every night agn~~ n hope gmp jus be tgt always~~:)
its a new start with even tougher stuffs....n courage to take jap....cuz everyone says its difficult....but i always wana have a try of it... its a new start with dar dar nt by my side everyday everynight... its a new start for me to get back my zest in studyin.... n its a new start as i be livin in my own personal single room.... its a new start...i jus wanna decorate my room nicely by today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dar acc me to imm n jp today...shop for stationery we need for schools...n things i need in hall n to decorate my rooms....... nt to mention FOOD!! think he really wants to make me fat....when i alr am...

A sense of xingfu-ness(haha...pardon me for bad english la...its my blog anw!)overwhelmed me when lynett suddenly send a msg to dar.....sayin the more she looks at our foto...the more she thinks we have couple face.. haha~~` thou i have no comment abt it...bt i feels nice to be acknowledged by each other....n have a r/s recognised by frenz, seniors, n family..........

before tt....i feel really discouraged when ppl tell me they have no confidence in our r/s....when ppl tld me there r jus too manu life examples tt ntu n nus wont last.... when fren tld me they jus dun haf gd feelin abt him.......

n just a simple msg from lynett makes me feel really touched n happy.... tt there r still ppl hu recognised us as a couple n gives us their blessings....:)

It's a brand new start....be facin alot of changes... bt i am quite excited abt it...cuz i want to overcome all of dem.... i be a strong gal.... tt leads her own life....n yet enjoy being loved n loving someone so dear to me:)

sch starts!!GAMBETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JIAYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


it rained at
8:30 PM
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
the freshman orientation camp is a nightmare to me....

lost my enthu for it...bt sometimes i cld really feel being 'condemned' when i cldnt play games due to my toe... i think ppl jus have this impression...come on...its jus ingrown toe nail...nth much... but it has been dere for 3 yrs n worsen recently ever since it has been stepped a few times n hit by the edge of toilet door...doc thinks the infection is qt bad... i jus went to see a doc recently....din wanna worsen it by dirtyin my toe nail n all...bt i feel its only when u really have a big cut...or sprain or anithin much more visible n noticeable...den ppl will understand n show their concern... not judge u n think tt u r jus tryin to avoid ur responsiblity by nt playin n helpin out in the games......... n in camp...there r alot of activities to dirty u n of cuz it'l dirty my toe too... i cldnt wear shoes becuz the sock will tore my wound down like it did for snr camp....bt in camp....there r alot of activities tt require me to wear shoes becuz there r alot of running......n when i was alone n cldnt join in for many stuffs i feel sianz....n more sianz when i feel i be judged....i wld call up dar to talk............n i m cynical to think tt they mus feel i skipped all the games to talk on fone... bt seriously i dun see anythin i can help... wanted to cheer...bt awhile i feel sianz...when no on is dere to cheer with me...... feel like an idiot sometimes.....

sometimes i feel left out....when my fren r with their bfs......n maybe cuz i lost my enthu n feel its a camp mainly for freshies to interact......i jus kip to myself....feel sad den i call dar up....i feel it be so nice if he is from my hall....n even if i dun see him....i noe he be dere when i am being neglected by frens....or feel sad being misunderstood... at least i noe he is aomewhere around workin n contributin to the same thing...i feel they jus dun understand when ur bf is nt fr hall...n its true tt many a times i am being left out.........

like durin monster hunt...my fren is with her bf....n i wont blame her or b sad over tt cuz its something natural n rite ah...bt the other fren kindda neglected me to talk to another snr...n to seek for sense of security...becuz the fright nite was kindda scary for her ba....

i was walkin alone....n i din msged dar.....i tot i wld jus walk alone.....it was a v bad feelin......i jus dun haf a sense of belonging for this camp anymore......................

games like 100s relay...i am able to join~ it wldn't hurt my toe compared to war games...water carnival...initiation....blablabla...bt i cldnt cuz i need to do some admin stuffs alone......i feel really out of the world....n probably i m alr feelin stress over many stuffs....tt i feel tired to self entertain n self consolin myself for this camp......................like i used to sometimes...

i wld love to interact well with the freshies....bt rite nw i was kinnda tired...... ppl will think come'on u din really join in n help out any stuffs...u haf no rite to feel tired.... bt its actually when u cant join in anything....tt u feel sianz.....more sianz when bein judged n u jus dun feel a sense of belonging u wanted to just stay with ur grp..........

the camp becomes more stressful when dar couldnt understand me n how camp works...n the way he reacts made me v stress over it.....

it becomes more stressful when ppl wnt allow u to rest a lil....becuz u din play n work as much as they do....so u shdnt be feelin tired.... bt i really m tired....my mood is spoiled.... i am mentally tired..............very........................

was shiverin ytd nite suddenly n i jus suddenly burst out cryin....i din noe if i was jus bein too stress over my relationship n this camp....or am i really sick...i jus noe it was a v bad feelin............... a fren whom aint as close compared to others showed even more concern....n it did make me feel beta... thanks~ bt it makes me feel sad aso...i dunno y.........

i feel camp...rehearsal which i dun feel like performin becuz i dun even have a chance to decide wat i wanna perform n asked to perform some retro song which i totally have no interest bt perform for responsiblity....n this over possessive relationship jus comes at the same go.....den i am really feelin mentally tired over it....tt i din haf time to slowly sort my thoughts out...tt everything is done half heartedly....n i dun even haf times to think clearly abt our r/s.....

right now........i m havin diarrhoe....din haf anything ytd....n got diarrhoe twice in the nite....n after a few mouthful of noodle at 4 am....i had diarrhoe twice agn at 7 plus..........was feelin drained........ bt i gotta see the doc alone.... like no one even bothered to ask if i need acc....thou i know it aint tt bad tt its a must to have company.......bt i feel sad abt it.......... doc gave me mc........n i cld have rest whole day becuz i really feel drained when my stomach is totally empty...n i have no appetite to eat...... btwhen i msged my vice chair tt i jus went to doc n gt mc....she jus reply to ask me to join the nite even straight later den. even my gd fren do tt.... i should understand tt ppl might be bz....bt if its me i wld haf jus msged somehting nice to cheer dem person up...like r u alright...tc n i will see u ltr if u feelin ok...that kindda stuffs...

i noe i am nt a child tt needs ppl full time attention n concern.....bt i tot as a fren or even jus a neighbout living tgt n belongin to hall 3...i wld do tt..... probably the bad feelings accumulated n it makes me really sad abt everything....n i really dun haf this sense of belonging................

r/s with dar is stressful too...cuz we r both too possessive....n its tirin sometimes...n this aint being healthy...i always feel there seems to be somethhing nt rite...or missin in the r/s.... i think i can slowly understnad wat it is............ bt i have no time to sort thoughts out.... had a talk with dar till 4 plus....n i m v v glad tt he cld really jus listen n tryin his best to understand n make effort to improve.....

i was feelin stress now when dar offered to send me to sp nite in the night noein i am drained from my diarrhoe..... stress becuz i m cynical....or shd i say rite to think tt ppl wld think i chao geng to meet him agn.................bt i am really drained tt i hope there r transport dere....instead of me waitin n takin a bus..... watsmore.... he is the only one tt is so concerned rite now ba.........

i dunnoe........... i m in a lost............my head is heavy.................. n i really feel v drained.................

physically n mentally...............

i noe i have no zi ge to say i am drained physically.........bt i really m from my diarrhoe.......

n mentally.................... i am totally drained...................

the feelings of nt being understood n cared for sux........n its really saddenin tt this camp will remain as a nightmare for me....................


it rained at
10:01 AM
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
miscommunications jus b4 camp.....

no mood for camp at all...................

nt able to play wat i wanna play most for camp........

thou i m nt here to play..........bt no mood as well..............

feeling sad throughout the camp............bt i came to realise hw much dar understands me....n hw much i need him...............

i am gettin dependent on him.... n yes...to be honest..he is my priority now...let me treasure the time with him now....... cuz i din noe wat will happen when he goes nus n i m in ntu......... everyone says its hard.......says there r many life examples tt ntu n nus hardly last.....i have no confidence in mysef....tt i will surpass all the mei nvs in nus...i wanted to have confidence in him...bt i am afraid of disappointment................... i hope my friends understand my worries.....n y i've been tryin to have all time with him now............ i really fear for all these to come..

we be having alot less time tgt once sch starts.............thrice a week is wat he promised....hope even with lesser time our love stays strong..........

dar always bought alot alot of stuffs for me....................i dun wish for him to pay everything for me.......really!! if there is anything i wish he cld buy for me....its time..... time even when we're in diff sch...............

sch is starting soon........... n i really fear for changes..............................

i need to be strong...............be confident........................


it rained at
11:28 AM
Friday, July 14, 2006
New room....'new' hall life...same old (nt v old actually) good sisters...:)

yup~ thanks dar for helpin me with the moving of room!!!! And i think its really paiseh when he sweeps n mops more efficiently than i am....... :P I have this xingfu feeling to have someone by my side... acc me...and doing something with me...even when its tiring and all...i feel so xingfu when i saw his bei ying while sweeping and mopping the floor~ keke~~:P

anw... yup...moving to a new single room...n a new hall life without a roomie!!! hmm....wonder will there be any great changes....hope gmp still stay close n strong tgt...even when everyone has their own commitments alr.... hope the frenzship remains strong...n we all cld still spare a tot for each other still....write little cards n gifts for each other still...lend listening ears n show care for each other still.... n cld be frenz forever!!:)

getting abit jittery...tt i be stayin alone...be slpin alone in hall.... thou i noe i do have nice neighbours which actually refers to gmp, around...

getting paranoid whenever i tot of him gg to nus........ like will everything remains beautiful for us?? i am scared............................... we still need time to build the trust...to trust tt things will remains stable n beauitiful...

wonder how things will go once sch reopens..... before we knew it.... we gonna start facing the notes again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~_~ AHHhHhHHHhhhHHhh~~~~ n somehow...i hope there wont be any big changes....unacceptable changes to gmp's frenship...n the way we r now....

i am writing sooo much n it jus kept revolving around the same topics.... tt shows how i cldnt rest my mind for all these to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Camp.......no excitement at all..........:(

senior camp is tml!!!!!!!!!!!! but................... i have no energy like before......... gave up the idea of becomin gl....cuz i tot i be tired....n indeed i am...been dozing off at work lately.........or actually nt lately la....for quite a while ever since world cup....:P

besides.... i think twice....or thrice...or wait...i think umpteen times b4 i will set my mind to play any stuffs....actually i think there's no way for me to escape which ever games.....cuz as an og...everyone plays a part....n help each other thru the games n 'obstacles'...to strengthen bonds btw seniors...... i feel restricted tt i may nt be able to enjoy the camp fully.....

but.... i always rmb wat my colleague tld me... wld u rather him to care for u... gets worried n nervous over u.... or be ok when u r gg out with guys n all???

its like....we get tied down by our parents curfew all the times....u get upset n all...bt deep down...we always noe our parents love us much tts y they care to bother so much......

packing my stuffs now......... thanks dar for taking leave tml to pei me b4 i go for camp...thats really sweet....n i really really really appreciate it..........:) thou u mite jus took leave cuz u wanna slack as well!!! bt nah........... i still prefer to think tt u really took leave to pei me:)

hope the camp goes well for me.......................... hais.....be a tiring weekends.....n i still gonna work on monday............... :(

Not only new hall life.... bt a different life at work too.......

the temp be leaving tml!! yup...which means no one be talkin to me at work....or pei-ing me for lunch............ guess i will doze off more often n get caught without anyone giving me prior warning.............. ~_~ b alone at work den....but jus endure one more week girl!!!! n u be collectin one more week of pay!! lets be honest abt tis...i work for the money....nt really for the experience~~ data entry...come on............ no experience to be mentioned.............

but sales is really an experience for me la.... a bad one thou...bt still...at least i get to experience the tough sales life...n the dark side of it...with colleagues snatching customers with each other.......

ahh......i beta start packin now....still gotta work tml b4 i go for camp..... SIANZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Yilin msged me 'xiao xiao...it's been a long long time....'...indeed it is.............................. hais................everyone is bz now............................ sometimes i still think back the xiao xiao days too.......n i must say she's the one i missed most............ the one tt really helps me alot alot durin my 'saddenin' jc life................ LOVE YA GIRL! thou u wont be readin....but i jus feel like sayin out...writing out........

TO dreamland soon!!!


it rained at
2:03 AM
Sunday, July 09, 2006
played computer games tgt~ n had a talk after waiting quite long for my rehearsal to end....

read meiting's post...n i mus admit some parts are rite.... deep down...i can feel his love for me...n somehow cldnt imagine myself without him.... n i mus admit dar really tried to be a better bf for me..... he might nt b the sweetest bf on earth...bt as long as he tries to be the sweetest he can be....i really really appreciate his effort to make me feel so loved:) i am tryin too~~ to be as understandin n sweet as i can be~~:)

thanks gugu for listenin to my rattlings when i was feeling lousy~~:)

btw...concert comin up...still no zezst to sell tixs......hais~~:P

dar took leave for me....to help me move to new hall rm..... *touched*

im thinking of u~~ wo you ni zhen hao~~

wo xiang.....................................wo hai shi xing fu de~~thou love makes my emotion goes like roller coaster...there's ups n downs....i cld jus be so easily affected by wateva he does...wateva he says....bt when its downs.....i noe there will still be ups the nxt moment.............the downs makes the ups an exciting ones~~

bt...i wld still prefer to stay long on top... at the ups.... keke~~ i am still a greedy girl afterall~~:P


it rained at
3:35 AM
Saturday, July 08, 2006
don't expect too much...it brings disappointment...
as wat meiting always tld me...n as wat i'vealr know long ago....i still cant prevent myself from being disappointed............

i dunno if u girls will have this kindda feelin.... after a few months.... u started to keep reminscing the good old days and you realised...ya...'old' days...there seems to b changes....n u cant help bt get paranoid.. u will miss the old days damn lot...the days when he tried to win ur heart n ur trust.... those days are always sweetest memories tt makes ppl wan to experience it again....n often....these days can only b kept as memories n nv happened again....it can b done agn upon request....bt probably nt with the same attitude animore....afterall...its upon request.......

but we should always look forward to the present...the future...for more nice memories to keep:) u know he is by ur side...isnt tt more den enuff??.....but i guess its only aft sometime when things r stable n secure... tt u stop hopin soo much for the past to replay....cuz u noe the r/s is alr stable n u r alr feelin v safe n secure...tt he is cfm truthful to u...tt u look forward to entering another phase of life with him......

i wonder if u girls feel it this way..... or m i jus being unreasonable....to expect things to remain the same...to fear changes... to fear the so called honey moon to end....issit really necessary to end?to fear his change in mind n heart....cuz as time goes....he realised to be truthful in love is really hard n might jus gets sianz with you.... i've lots of qtns...doubts...worries.... in mind..... for tis is the first official r/s.... with me really giving my heart n soul....to hopefully make it work out....make it last.... n last not only becuz i make it happen on my part....but we make it happen tgt~!

love needs ALOt of perseverance n understandings.....from both parties.........it b xing ku bt fufiling...ask urself r u ready for the 'hardships' before u deserve the blissfulness....(is dere such word...apologise for my lousy vocab:P)...

love aint as simple as we think...bt nt as complicated as we think too.... r u ready to love.....ready to gif in all.......... we all shd really gif a hard tot to it............ including myself.........

or maybe as wat my colleague tld me...dun think so much abt it....jus zou yi bu kan yi bu....tt be better.....bt i am afraid when there's no more lu to zou...it'l be too late to think of solution...

haha...i realise i really fear alot of things..the deeper im in love...the more i fear...probably.... i shdnt stress myself too much n putting the stress on him as well.......................

-true love never run smooth.... r u willin to brave thru every storms with me....walk with me no matter wat? give it a serious tot....really....-


it rained at
2:51 AM
Friday, July 07, 2006
love controls my heart....affects my emotions....makes me lost......n yet has the ability to make me feel protected....

i feel like a crystal held on ur hand.... pls hold it carefully....n protect it.... for somehow love gives me courage n hope....n yet makes me really vulnerable....

i am glad......tt u cld always listen to how i feel....n i noe u always try to make me feel better...... i didnt know wats so gd abt me....tt is worthy of ur big changes........bt i hope they aren't changes....bt the serious dar in nature....in nature...

love makes me feel really appreciated... makes me forgive..... makes me see the bright side of life.... brighten my day easily when i am down due to other stuffs...... n yet love can really hurts easily too....

promises are always done.....when we wanted to give each other the security....when we remind each other n ourselves to think in ur partner's shoes.... promises n swears r done when both r out to give their all for love.... but sometimes...they r broken....nt becuz he/she dont loves u animore......but needs to love u soooo much tt it overcomes all temptations to break it...n overcome own selfishness....... i hope we had tt kindda love............

still, i feel xingfu now........ n i hope its not cuz its just honeymoon period......many tld me honeymoon period is only the first few months...n ltr on...promises b broken...all changes made for u be resumed to wat he used to be in the past.....n it needs the girl to be really tolerant n understandin if she wants to kip everything gg.........issit true?

but shdnt love be a 2 way thingy?? y issit jus the girl toleratin n being understanding....y cant they change for love once more?....i tink both sides still have the responsibiltiy to kip the r/s gg....i really fear this so called honeymoon period to end......... is it really hard to gif out all ur love forever..bt somehw.... this is always the case.... everybody tld me after first few months...there r bound to be changes as to hw he treats u............ n i really feared tt....wonder if i be understandin n tolerant enuff to these changes...............

weird man in mrt:

i wont say its weird... bt jus himbotic bah.... he was trainin his hand with a small gym device in the crowded mrt early in the mornin when ppl r gg off to work......... n he was moving his chest muscles here n den... n later on roll up his sleeves n continue training n showin off his muscles.....

it was rather erxin when he showed off his chest muscles........ n rollin up his sleeves..... i think he was rather AA in tt sense............. or is he really tttttthhhhhhhaaaattttttt hardworkin to train his alr huge n beefy body?? keke... so tt is one of the weird ppl i met recently.... actually been long time since i met weirdo or AA ppl....probably it has been long since i am out strollin or shoppin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( yesh yesh....think tts the case.... :( n ya believe me....somehw u can always meet weird ppl everytime u go out in this small island...... bt hu noes...we might look weird to dem as well~~!

chickenpox...:
Phew... the virus has yet to attack me...bt for the nxt 1 wk...when sis is recoverin...it will be hard to tell....... ahHHhHhhHHhhHHhhh~~~~~~~

concert:
yup....b performin soon on 6th aug....bt somehow i dont have the zest n did nt make an effort to sell my tixs......hais....

camp:
yup....hall camps r comin soon!! but...wait...... no excitement at all..... i m tired aft work to attend meetings way back in hall....i m tired to go back hall n help out...i m such a lazy bum...... n concert rehearsals r comin up to really eat alot into my own time........n i am jus so reluctant to do other mre stuffs even thou i am really supposed to............................ hais......................

world cup:
first time i bet....n i bought the bet myself!!! bt .............. i lost......... yup..... bt....its still something to 'commerate'? haha... i lost....darn...y cant italy win in the 90 mins game instead!! :( *pouts* shd haf listened to my colleague......they r winning lo!! i tried to chu pattern n be diff... n i lost........humpf~

jus some rattlings b4 i go to bed......... off to my sweet dreamland~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^_^


it rained at
1:41 AM
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
meiting is wrong~ i dun believe in fairy tale love story like i used to.......

love is not jus abt loving each other.....

there is so much to learn.... much more things den jus i love u n u love me.............

am quite sad tt my own simple fairy tale love story dream will never be materialised....but tts reality........

love makes me forgive...bt a part of me....is still being affected... n is still reminded of the past.... a part of me is broken....n needs love to minimise the pain..... love is just like antibiotics...to overcome arriers....love is just like pain killer....the wound remains...love just lessoned the pain tts all... still its necessary to minimise the pain...to stay immune to more barriers n hurdles... thou barriers will always remain...the scar will always be there...............

- m losin myself to u...don't lose me....-

sometimes love can make me feel lost......... i jus stone n wat eva bad things tt had happened jus kept running in my mind.... like a non stop playin video tape.....it never ends.... n the wateva bad feelings just kept repeatin n hurtin me..... i wont say i m hurt... more of lost.... n a sense of insecurity....feel like hanging in the air....n if i were to fall...it'l be a deadly one............

i m needing a lot of courage for alot of things....... in the first place.... i have really plucked out huge courage for everything... bt i still need much more courage to face alot of things....n to make the r/s goes on.............

sometimes love n r/s r 2 diff thing.......... love can go on forever bt the r/s can b a broken ones......... but i dont wish to b so............................ i always wish n hope tis be the last one.... the one i can depend on for life!the one i want to love n b with side by side for life! bt everything is too early to say ya..... tts y i am feelin so insecure.... i m prepared to b wif him n love him for as long as can be bt i m totally not prepared for a broken r/s......i m prepared to give all.......but i am totally nt prepared to lose all......to lose even a part of me...

-lost-

pls let things goes on the rite way... as much as i pluck up courage to accept reality.... i still wish ...sincerely wish a simple fairytale love story cld happen to me..........

jus abt i love u..u love me...n we be happily ever after.................................................


it rained at
1:18 AM
Friday, June 30, 2006
one thing i like most is i cld tell him anything....n he can always be understanding and think in my shoes.... he is the first person tt really makes me speak my mind out....and it really feel good to have someone there to share ur happiness...unhappiness...troubles... i didnt know i cld b so real infront of anione.......

i didnt noe how to appreciate myself.....but he noes how to appreciate me....
i didnt noe how to speak up my mind....but he teaches me to.........
i didnt noe how to take good care of myself...but he takes good care of me....
i didnt noe how nice the future will be....bt he paints a nice picture for me....
i didnt noe i wld still rmb to love..........but he taught me to rmb...............and hopefully never forget it.............:)

ahh..........work is tiring!! been dozing off at work...and sometimes eat snakes in toilet somemore~haha~ CMI~!! i am feeling tired sometimes i wish i cld jus take a break...but nonono... i gotta start saving more money....n hopefully i can go for holz nxt yr....hmm....my 1st holz.....

one touching thing of the week: my roomie actually offered to buy the tix from me even thou i myself think its ex too~~ thanks!!!!!

another touching thing of the week: seeing gmp n bond still strong!!:)

touching thing of everyday: having dar by my side:)

oh~my hse is now chickenpox danger zone!!!! nieghbour gt chicken pox...sis gt chicken pox...n both mum n i nvr gt chicken pox b4!! arghHh... n i always wonder will dere be anione hu had no chickenpox at all b4 in his/her whole life....(long life tt is:P) n hopefully i be tt lucky ones....... but now.............. chickenpox virus is attacking my hse.... ahh~~~!!! hope i passed this 'ordeal'~~ so sianz to get chickenpox durin holz can~!! haha~`


it rained at
1:49 AM
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
YEaH!!! tml meetin my Dear Gmp for dinner at mind cafe and den meet dar again! hee~~ it has been a long since we last meet ~~ we really need to update each other on our life n hui wei our old gmp days~~ ahh~~~ been a long time since i crap with gugu, wy n my roomie! well...i still chat with wy few days ago.... nice... miss it... thank her for her concern n offerin her ears:)

dar came to meet me even thou he was sick... i tot we wont be meetin.... so glad to see him feelin beta.... honestly...thou i said it be beta for him to jus rest....bt i am still overwhelmed with joy to be able to see him... n he made me feel v welcomed n xing fu even thou he was down with flu...thanks dar...

i am thinking of you....wo you ni zhen hao.....^_^


it rained at
1:40 AM
Monday, June 26, 2006
dar was sick....n tink i m not gonna meet him tdy le...thou i wish i can do smth to make him feel better...bt think the best i cld do is leave him alone n let him rest bah.... thou i really miss him alot...even thou i have been seein him everyday..... but still.... i know the best for him is to really have a good rest.....

pls get well soon dar..................

^_^


it rained at
7:36 PM
Sunday, June 18, 2006
i am so glad i have sooyun to talk to when i was feelin uneasy n upset today.............

m talkin to sooyun agn........n i agreed with her totally tt love isnt the only thing that can kip a r/s gg........... love is trainin me to be a superwoman ~~

there is many things i gotta do..........n learn........

i gotta learn to be totally understandin n tolerant....... i think being understandable n tolerant is really V impt in a r/s........ n i tell u.......its really hard sometimes.....its only now i realise i cant be as generous n understandin as b4 le............... but i will try............

I REALLY REALLY MISS the days when we have the whole day out all by ourselves........

even thou we have visited the stadium...the diff parks... ...shoppin centre... quite a few times.....but i nvr get tired of dem with u n only u with me....n w me n only me with u......

i really really missed those days................................. its like so far away from me now..................cant we jus haf the day n times ourselves.......................................

see......................i m nt being that understandin n generous afterall..................

i need to learn..............................................................................................

n i am stressed abt it.................................................:(

can i be selfish n not learn sometimes....................................

i wonder if u can afford to lose me................but i cant.................. i am sooooooo lousy.............


it rained at
10:29 PM
Friday, June 16, 2006
i am losing myself to u...dont lost me........

sooo blissful n yet so scary to be in love.................


it rained at
7:34 PM
Sunday, May 28, 2006
I tld him the truth as to what made me really unhappy and sianz tt day~ and we talk it out~ I am glad he can always listen calmly and talk it out nicely with me~ he has make a point to improve~ and things are slowing down and i feel more comfortable with this pace~ I know I am mafan.....thanks for making the effort to change for me:)

These few days are really fun~ though its those same old places again...but we have different memories everytime we went those places~ He was soooo nice to acc me for lunch ytd before i go for my dreadful work at taka...sales job are really horrible 'dere'. The seniors will bully the new comers and everyone is 'fighting' for sales just so they can get more commission. When a customer i served a few days before come back with a broken bracelet she bought, that stoopid malay senior tld me rudely " ur customer rite? u repair!" CRAZY!! i am like... WTF!!! I am newcomer, and for goodness sake...how do i repair when there is missing beads....and how would i learn how to repair!!!!! She is my customer but it aint my fault that the bracelet is broken ya?? The seniors there are HORRILBE, TERRIBLE, INCORRIGIBLE, makes my blood boil:( I cant stopp getting agitated when i recalled her attitude and qian bian face:P It was soooo nice to see him late at night again after i work~ i could jus complain to him~ and i know he will always be on my side:) that did make me feel better:)

I am eating supper every night!!!!!!!! and i am getting fatter n fatter thanks to him.......-_-""""""""

Ytd is wy's bdae but i failed to get the pressie n card ready.....................feel kindda guilty......hope i can find a pretty gift today and pass it to her before she knocked off~:)

And he will be acc me! :)

TOday is my last day at that stoopid place~ and i could just attitude my way through~*grinZ* :P

Thanks dar for everything:) Thanks for even always making BIG BIG BIG effort to wake me up not v early in the morning:P

ngoh zhong yi lei~

hope things can jus go on n on smoothly:)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANkS for listening to my complains abt my work........thanks for acc me when i was alone last time.....and no one to pei me for dinner.........so nice to see tt u n sw still gg well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Hope everything jus go smoothly for GMP~

Happy GMP:)


it rained at
10:33 AM

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Previous craps 06/05/2005(TADA) | 06/05/2005 (THE BREAK UP) | 08/05/2005(Pugi BBQ) | 08/05/2005(Coffee Bean cheesecake) | 09/05/2005(still-at-office) | Eg of Irritating Msges | 11/05/2005(hair-trouble) | 11/05/2005(Bop-n-me) | It's a Rainy Day. | Steamboat aka YH's b'dae! | 1st Tuition Experience | Boring Day @ Work | Just Another Day | GALS~~~~ | *Together* | My Inner Self | Hair Rescue | Alone | A Lie | Updates | Differences | Types Of Guys I Dislike | Guys I Like | Weekends |

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